Thursday, February 11, 2016


IT'S BEEN AWHILE This past year has been difficult. It was about this time a year ago that my mother went into decline. By the first part of March, 2015, we were speaking with her oncologist, and decided that the best place for her was in a hospice. She died from lung cancer last September. I have struggled a bit with depression since. During the darkest days, I would question the reason for living - I wasn't suicidal but I did question the point of it all. It seemed so futile. Why do anything if we end up dying in the end? I'm sorry if this is depressing, but this is where I was. I'm finally coming out of it, thank God.

Part of what I've also been going through has  been to look at past hurts, why people do what they do, and why so many of us seem so insecure. Why do some people think the only way they can protect their 'turf' is to put down and be unsupportive of others? Any criticism coming my way is hard to deal with, especially if I don't think it's coming from a place that is honest, helpful, or genuine. It's also a hard thing to forgive. I don't operate that way, and I don't think others should either.

But here's the thing. No one can keep you down. People may try, because to them, your success or ability may mean their lack. It isn't really about that. We are meant to grow, to evolve, to get better at everything we do. I think this is so true, I consider it a universal law.

No one but you can keep you down. And if you give yourself permission to keep going, to keep working, to keep trying, you will succeed in spite of anyone who stands in your way. It's just the way it is. We are meant to evolve in whatever we attempt, so long as we keep going. And if we need to take a time-out, to slack off now and then to recharge ourselves, that's okay. That's part of the process, too.

What I'm saying is don't lose hope. Trust that you'll accomplish whatever it is you want to do. Have a little faith in yourself and in the universe. And above all, be kind to yourself and others.

- Susan.


  1. Replies
    1. You're welcome. I think we all need to hear this, now and then.

    2. Never lose hope. Thank you Susan. As we move to better versions of ourselves, which we really don't have any control over, we begin to evolve to a place where we realize that external negativity that may contribute to keeping it down, is never really about us. It's about the person that is putting forth the negativity. Everything is impermanent. Our moods, our successes, our failures, our depression. Thank you for having the courage, and it does take courage, to share your experience.

    3. Thanks, Grant. I don't know if it's really courage on my part. It doesn't matter what people think of this, but if it helps a few, that's great. Thanks for commenting.

  2. Anonymous1:37 PM

    Hi Susan,

    I've seen your books in stores here. My twenty-something friends talk about them (all hail the ovulators, they KNOW things). You are doing something right. Rest assured: your words leave a lasting impression.

    Grieving magnifies everything negative, doesn't it? We all get hurt. Everyone is insecure. Grief like you described isn't a trip you would have chosen. Welcome back from the void. We get the whole physical reality package whether or not we want it. It's never easy to lose you someone love.

    People who criticize are often jealous and feed off hurting others. Don't let the bastards rent space in your head. As a published author, you are going to attract attention--good and bad. As an editor, you know there is more than one way to provide constructive criticism. And, as a daughter who just lost her mother after a horrific illness, you know what it's like to live with your flesh peeled off. I get it. Please be gentle with yourself.

    I'm sure your mother is so proud of you and knows you are leaving a legacy for generations to come. How amazing is that? Your family and friends think you are incredible. Your great-great-grandchildren will have bragging rights! Just keep doing what you do best.

    Cousin J (who doesn't Facebook)

  3. Thanks, J. I really appreciate what you've said. Hugs, cousin.

  4. Anonymous1:41 PM

    Hi Susan,

    Have you considered publishing audio books for Here is a link to info you might find interesting: Everyone loves to hear an author read their own words!

    Something to consider while your creative muse is on vacation. She will return.

    Hugs, Comfort, Strength, and Love. I believe in you.

    Cousin J

    1. Hi, J. Any kind of audio publishing is up to my publisher, Five Rivers. I think they have pursued various audio routes (and possibly with Audible) with other writers, but may not have been very happy with the results. Not certain. Still, I will ask, especially now that the trilogy is just about done. I should have the edit for the last book, The Tattooed Queen, completed in a month, and then I really am going on a vacation - at least until the galleys arrive. :-)

  5. Anonymous11:04 AM

    You completed the trilogy? The last book is finished? You ARE incredible!!! Congratulations! I look forward to reading The Tattooed Queen. Enjoy your vacation.

  6. ALMOST finished. Wrapping up the edits, then I send it back to Five Rivers. Then I look at the galleys, assuming the revision/edit is fine. But yes, hopefully, the book will be out later this year. Thanks for your support! I hope you like it.