AN HOUR OF BRUISED EGO or LIVING THE LIFE?

I HAVE A 10:00 BULERIAS CLASS EVERY MORNING THIS WEEK, with Ramon Martínez at the Alicia Marquez' School of Flamenco Baile. Yesterday was great, but difficult - first days always are. You're faced with learning combinations of steps you've never done before (or have never put together in quite the same way). In a class full of regular students, you're going to stand out because you're making mistakes and trying to catch on as fast as you can. As I headed for my class this morning, it was with some worry. I'd been thinking about what I'd learned the day before, I'd gone over it all night in my head, knowing I hadn't retained everything (but then, I rarely do). No one had taken videos of the class yesterday, so I felt awkward about doing that. I hoped today would be better. There was no guarantee it would.

It takes me about fifteen minutes to walk from our apartment to the school. As I went, I considered - what's an hour of bruised ego? No one's really paying attention to you, or if they are, it's only fleetingly. Everybody's focused on their own growth. So really, Susan, you're lucky to be here, even if it means dealing with a bit of embarrassment and wearing a silly grimace when you mess up. You're living the life.

I suppose I am. But pride has a way of pooping on the experience. (Yes, I joke. But what else can you do, when you mess up? You may as well laugh at yourself.) It's best to take yourself seriously, and at the same time, not so seriously. There's irony in that.

Today was better, thank God. I did get lost on the way to the school once, so thank heaven for on-line maps, because they got me turned around. Luckily, I wasn't late, and we went over the same choreography, with minor changes. I'm getting it. I've always considered myself a bit of a slow learner when it comes to flamenco, mostly because I don't grab it immediately, but perhaps that's too much to expect. I need a lot of repetition, with lots of practice. And once the steps come without thinking, then it's about laying on the style. But maybe I'm not so different from anybody else who dances. Maybe that's just the way it is for most of us. My advice to any beginner out there? Keep at it, have faith in yourself, and eventually you'll get it. Keep going, don't give up, and don't let pride get in your way.  I suppose you could apply that advice to any creative endeavour. It certainly applies to writing.

And speaking of beginners, Ramon's class is advertised as for 'all levels'. Um, no. Not in the least. If you're a beginner, this class would be way over your head. I'm not a beginner, and I'm just keeping up.

But I do love it. I'm hoping tomorrow will be even better than today. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Until then, olé! - Susan.